Officially done

I had my beta this morning and it was a big fat goose egg.

Our plan is to save, save, save until we can afford the $2,500 or so for a FET (plus meds). It might be a while so I'll be back... eventually.

That's all folks

I am definitely not pregnant. AF showed in full bitchy force today. It just sucks. I know how lucky I am to have my girls. The disappointment will never be what it was before I had the girls. I just hate having to go through more treatments. It means more money, more hormones, more waiting. It brings back all that resentment about how others can just decide "oh, time for us to have another baby." While too many of us have to plan, save, and suffer through treatment after treatment. Infertility is a very nasty beast.

The same

The spotting has continued and is getting a little heavier tonight. Thinking the end is here. Oh well...

:(

Started spotting today... not looking so good at this point.

Trigger is gone

I tested yesterday just to make sure the trigger HcG was gone... and it is. From here on any positive I get is the real deal. Not sure when I will test. In my previous IVF and IUI cycles I was so patient. This time around I am so ready to test. I guess I just want to know and get the heck on with it. Strange how naive I was thinking I would get through this without any of that old anxiety and stress. ;>)

Waiting

Here is a nice ticker to pass the time:

Tired and achey

In previous IV cycles I have spent the bedrest portion of the cycle laying in bed stressing over whether the cycle would work. I also felt pretty ok. By the end of the second day I would feel a little sore from laying still for so long. This time has not bee so easy. I miss being a full time Mom to my kids. The OHSS is extremely uncomfortable (to say the least). My body aches terribly from laying in bed too long. When I do get up I feel tired and weak. I guess it doesn't help that I went into this sleep deprived and exhausted. It also doesn't help that I hyperstimulated so much.

I am just ready for this portion to be a thing of the past so I can get back to my normal routine. Tomorrow I am allowed to get out of bed but I do have restrictions. No vacuuming (YAY!), no bending from the waste (not easy with two kids) and no lifting over 15 lbs (hmm... I have a 16 pounder and an 18 pounder... not sure how that will go). This whole IVF thing is definitely a lot easier without two kids in tow.

ET Complete!

We went for our ET this am at 10. Things went really well and we transferred two 6-celled Grade A embryos.

We now have 11 frozen embryos for later. We lost a couple in the past two days.

Unfortunately the OHSS has hit hard. I feel like garbage. Thankfully I have two days of bed rest right now. So now we wait!

16 Embryos

I went this am for b/w and to get randomized into the study part of this IVF. I would either get the progesterone gel or the ring and I got the ring. I talked to the embryologist and they managed ICSI on 17 eggs, 16 of those fertilized... way more that we have ever had. They are freezing 6 today and leaving 10 out to choose the best 2 for Wed. After Wed. the remaining 8 will be frozen so we will have 14 snowbabies. Guess it's good we always wanted a big family.

21 Eggs

Out of my 27 mature follicles they got 21 eggs this morning. The procedure went well but I am hurting much more than my previous 2 fresh cycles. They gave me Tylenol 3 to help with the pain for now. The good news is that they are allowing me to go ahead with the ET on Wed. and will let us transfer 2. Ok, back to the couch.

Nerves

So, now the nerves are setting in. I am nervous about:

- OHSS
- Being in pain and having to be a Mom to my girls
- The ET being cancelled and having to move on to a FET
- The IVF working
- The IVF not working
- The anesthesia
- Having another kid
- Not having another kid
- and on and on and on.

Guess I need a decent nights sleep and to just get tomorrow over with.

Here we go

We have to be at the office tomorrow am at 8:15am and the procedure is scheduled for 9:30. My Estradiol skyrocketed today to 6,400 so it looks like OHSS is inevitable this week. Yuck! They most likely will not cancel the ET but may only allow us to transfer 1 embryo. I will know more tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Hcg...done!

I finally got my callback today and I was allowed to trigger. At 10:30 we did the trigger shot and those damn IM shots hurt as much as I remember. My estradiol was still ridiculously high so we will be keeping our fingers crossed the OHSS isn't too bad. I go first thing Sunday morning for my ER. Then my ET will be Wednesday morning.

For the first time today I got a little panicked about the thought of another set of twins. We plan to transfer 2 since 1 hardly seems worth it for me. Then I started thinking of the logistics of 4 kids instead of 2. It was a little too scary to think about. ;>)

Waiting, waiting, waiting... yet again

Here is my u/s results from today:

Lining - 13mm

Right - 23.3, 18, 18.3, 21.3, 17, 23.6, 22, 22.6, 22, 27.6, 21.3, 16, 22.3, 16, 17, 15.6 and 7<10

Left - 22.3, 20.3, 19, 18, 22, 16, 14, 16, 16, 22.3, 20.3, 16.6 and 6<10

I am still waiting for my callback to see about trigger. I am guessing tonight.

Holding Pattern

Today's results:

Lining - 14mm

Right - 24, 27, 19.3, 21.3, 20.4, 19, 19, 19.3, 17, 13, 15, 18.3, 20.7, 14.3 and 8<10

Left - 19, 18.3, 20.7, 14.3, 20.3, 16, 17.8, 19, 18, 20.7, 17, 18 and 6<10

E2 - 4300... yup, it went up again so no trigger tonight.

I go back tomorrow morning for u/s and b/w AGAIN! Probably will trigger tomorrow (unless the number climbs) and have the ER Sunday. I really was hoping to do it Saturday so I would have Bry home to help the day after. Guess no such luck.

Tons of follies

Here is todays u/s results:

Lining - 14mm

Right - 19.6, 21, 15, 17, 13, 13, 15.6, 19, 16, 15, 15, 14, 16.6, 17 & 6<10

Left - 17, 17, 16, 13.3, 19, 12, 13, 13, 17, 13 & 7<10

All I can say is no wonder I am hurting. ;>)

Another ultrasound - Updated

Here are the results of this mornings ultrasound:

Lining - 11mm

Right Ovary - 11.6, 12.3, 14, 17, 14, 12, 12.3, 17.3, 13.3, 4<10

Left Ovary - 14, 15, 13, 13, 11.3, 12, 10, 4<10

Still waiting on my callback for instructions. I am starting to feel a little uncomfortable... kinda like two bags full of rocks in my belly. Fun, fun, fun!

Updated:

Got my callback and E2 was at 864 so everything is looking good. I go back Wednesday for another u/s and b/w. For comparison's sake here is my info from my stim day 6 from my last cycle:

Right - 13.3, 14.3, 14, 10, 11, 11.6

Left - 15, 2<10, 3<6
E2 - 572
LH - 3
FSH - 11
Prog - 0.7

And this one is from stim day 7 of my first fresh IVF cycle:

Right Ovary - 18.3, 16.3, 14.3, 15.3, 15, 15, 12, 18.6, 10
Left Ovary - 12, 10.3, 16.3, 12.3
Lining - 9 mm

Blood work and Ultrasound

Today I had another ultrasound and blood work. I had to get up eat 7:45 after being up late for our anniversary yesterday so I was BEAT tired! Things looked good so far. My lining was 12mm. Right ovary follicles were: 11.7, 12.7, 13.7, 13, 13.7, 14.3, 12.7, 11, and 8 <10mm. Left ovary had: 11.7, 11.3, 12, 11.3, 10.7 and 10 <10mm. This is way more follicular growth than I have had in the past. When I got my call back this afternoon they said I was over-responding with a high Estradiol level and so many follies. The are dropping my Follistim back to 75 iu starting tomorrow.

I go back on Monday for more b/w and another u/s.